7 Steps to self-love on Valentine’s Day…


The abundance of teddy bears, sickly sweet aromas and general rosiness of your local high street can only mean one thing – Valentine’s Day is creeping up on us once more. Many of us have mixed feelings about this day, but if there’s one thing you do this Valentine’s Day (whether you’re single or in a relationship) make sure that you remember to love yourself. Want to know how you can practice a little self-love? Here are my top tips to cultivate some self-loving goodness:


We are conditioned to believe that self-indulgence is a negative thing, that if we do something to make ourselves happy then we are somehow putting someone else’s nose out of joint – but why is this so? Nothing has explicitly taught us that buying things for ourselves or spending time pampering our bodies is wrong, yet we still live by these rules – so why not break them? Sure we’ve all got bills to pay and we might not be able to splash the cash, but there are other ways that you can indulge in a bit of TLC. Valentine’s Day is as good a time as any to run yourself that bubble bath, or treat yourself to a massage, or rest, or read – or all of the above. Whatever it is that you want to do, then do it.


The habits that we have formed are often difficult to break and if we don’t succeed we tend to scold ourselves until we are mentally battered. But it’s times like this that we need to be patient with our minds and souls – people fail, we slip up and we make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be the end of our dedication to achieve. Find an inner patience, if you do screw up, then recognise that you’ve done so, file it away in your mind and get back up to carry on meandering through your life.


Learn to acknowledge the things that you want and need, learn to acknowledge when you’re happy and when you’re not, learn to recognise when you need to take a moment, or when you need to be in the moment. We are often so blindsided by the things that happen in our lives that we are simply existing from one second to the next without acknowledging the things that are happening around or within us. Take a pause in your day, week, month to recollect, recognise and acknowledge how you’re feeling and what you want or need in your life.


How many of us can say that we truly know ourselves? Isn’t it about time that we started? We live in our minds and skin with no restbite and the way that we feel is often dictated by society and those who we choose to spend time with – indefinitely, our minds end up being a whirlwind of emotion. It’s so important to know yourself – to know what drives you, what your likes and dislikes are, what makes you laugh or cry and what makes your heart go wild. Allow yourself the luxury that we rarely afford ourselves of getting to know yourself.


There is little else that can satisfy, than doing something that you love. We all have our hobbies – yoga, baking, surfing, painting, running, reading, hell even stamp collecting – so why don’t you indulge in something that you love? Why? Because it’ll make you happy and you deserve it.


Where matters of the heart are concerned, many of us can’t say that we haven’t been hurt. As a result of this, we tend to learn from our mistakes and avoid these kinds of lovey-dovey situations – but you need to re-learn to love. Love is a trickly business, but it isn’t just reserved for romantics, love can mean so much more than who you’re going to spend your life with and self-love should come at the very top of that list. Love your partner, your family, your friends, your pets – but most of all, learn to cultivate a sense of self-love.


Do not give up on yourself, keep your head held high, a smile on your face and keep fighting that good fight – whatever that may be.

This was originally a guest post by me for the fabulous Cupcake Thighs.

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