Between the sheets with body positivity…

Body positivity is something that is on everyone’s lips at the moment, but there are still some things that haven’t been spoken about within the body positive sphere – or spoken about enough. Sex is not as much of a taboo as it used to be, in fact we’re all rather liberal where bedtime activities are concerned, but it’s not something that’s often discussed in terms of body image. Continue reading

I stand in awe of my body…


I stand in awe of my body, and you should stand in awe of yours too. Your body is remarkable and it is not given the credit that it deserves.

The culture that we live in focuses so highly on praising those who are aesthetically pleasing, that it forgets to acknowledge the other (more important) aspects of what a body can do. Yes, all bodies are beautiful and no, they don’t need to prescribe to ignorant ideals to be seen as such. We do not take enough time to appreciate the absolute wonder that the human body is – this vessel that we have been given to exist in is demeaned and ridiculed by a society that values beauty and attractiveness over anything else. In spite of ourselves, most of us believe the lies that swarm our way, but we can’t help it, it is what we have been conditioned by society to believe. There is no-one to blame and no-one to hold responsible – but if, as a collective, we try to remember the mind-blowing things that are bodies are capable of, we might be able to challenge societies preconceived ideas about what a body’s best attribute is. I’ll bet my bottom dollar that beauty doesn’t even come into the equation after these…

The human eye is so sensitive that if the Earth were flat, you could spot a candle flickering at night from up to 30 miles away.

But the human eye is still being told to focus on the darkness and negativity of self-hatred.

When you blush, the lining of your stomach blushes too.

But we are told to contour, cover up, hide and mask our real and genuine skin.

An adult is made up of 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (7 octillion) atoms. There are ‘only’ 300,000,000,000 (300 billion) stars in our galaxy.

But we are taught that our bodies are nothing special unless we fit into societies ‘ideal’.

A full head of human hair is strong enough to support 12 tonnes.

But we are told to perfect salon-worthy hair, if not, we are not worthy.

Human bone is as strong as granite. A block of bone the size of a matchbox could support nine tonnes of weight.

But we are told that our bodies and minds are weak.

For every pound of fat or muscle gained, your body creates seven miles of new blood vessels.

But we are told that we cannot mentally grow with our bodies.

Your body produces 25 million new cells each second. Every 13 seconds, you produce more cells than there are people in the United States.

But we are told that unless our bodies succumb to societal pressures, not to value ourselves.

Humans shed 40 pounds of skin in their lifetime, completely replacing their outer skin every month.

But we are told not to admire or love the skin we’re in.

Your stomach manufactures a new lining every three days to avoid digesting itself.

But we are told to watch what we eat.

There are more than 600 individual skeletal muscles and 206 bones in your body.

But we are told that the only things worth noting are the size and shape of our bodies.

These are just a handful of the facts out there relating to the human body, and all it takes is a quick Google search to discover all of the things that your body is capable of. I think it’s about time that we stopped hinging our worth on the way that we look, and instead shift the focus to the things that we are able to accomplish because of our inconceivably fascinating bodies. I stand in awe of my body, because it is capable of things beyond my wildest imagination.


fat-girlsIn the interest of full disclosure you need to know three things: I’m fat, I’m a lesbian and I love sex. Woah, too much? Too soon? Sorry about that – but for the purposes of this post I think it’s better to get these things cleared up sooner rather than later. Besides, taboos? The world is crammed full of them, and in this day and age if you don’t perceive yourself to be some kind of social anomaly then people tend to think that you’re boring… or that you’re hiding something. Well there are no secrets here, it’s easy to be candid with people that you don’t know – that said, being this brazen with people that you do know can be a completely different story.

I’ve long been a purveyor of fat-positivity, fatshion and fat-sex. Fat sex? In spite of what society has taught us, fat people do have sex. Fat straight couples have sex, fat gay men have sex, fat lesbians have sex (I can personally vouch for that one), fat people on any level of the LGBTQI spectrum have sex. Now that I have body positivity raging through my veins I can speak frankly about my fat, lesbian sexual experiences, but it hasn’t always been like water off a dykes back.

I was always the covers-up-to-my-chin, not-taking-my-top-off, complete-darkness kind of lover, traits that I’ve no doubt any plus-sizer will recognise. What’s more, being insatiably attracted to women comes with its own set of hurdles to overcome. When you’re a young woman who has low self-esteem, the last thing you want to do is be in close proximity to another young woman who you think is gorgeous. But imagine the turmoil that you face when you really (really) want to see this woman in her birthday suit, but at the same time the last thing that you want to do is see her in all her glory.fc44444281f52688ad0634f4a2c11e5e Given the negative stigma surrounding fat women and sex, we are told to compare ourselves to every other woman that we come across, and this doesn’t stop in the street. Pre-body positivity, I’d always try my hardest to disguise my body – buying saucy underwear that was not to be removed under any circumstances used to be my go-to for bedroom comfort. I lived under the illusion that if my fat body was covered by something, my fatness would be disguised; but hindsight is a wonderful thing and I’ve since learnt that fatness cannot be hidden and, indeed, it shouldn’t be. Upon having this epiphany some time ago, I’ve learnt that body type is not a prerequisite to sexiness, but the way that you feel about your body is.

Women are conditioned by society to have low self-esteem, we are told that you can only be sexy if you fulfill a man’s idea of what sexiness is. Ha! Speaking from experience, since I’ve banished my body positive blues and embraced my body instead, I find that I feel more attractive than I ever have before. Learning to accept my fatness has given me the ability to move freely in the bedroom: I no longer grasp the covers to my chin, I no longer kill the moment by trying to hide my wobbly bits, I no longer keep the lights off all the time, I no longer flinch when someone touches my tummy or thick thighs. I have learnt, as a fat lesbian, that I do not need to compare myself to my lover, I just need to enjoy myself. I have found liberation from the mental chains that kept me believing that fat women couldn’t enjoy sex – we are just as worthy of having a satisfying sex life as the next person. And if someone can’t grant you the respect of that, then you need to take matters into your own hands… if you get my drift.